Canada or Bust!
The votes are in and much to my amazement America has re-elected George W. Bush. He has won the election, though I hesitate to call him "a winner". In the words of George W. Bush "You have misunderestimated me" Indeed.
The day after elections I contemplate my options.
Slit my wrists? I'm not much for blood.
Move to Canada? I'm not much for the Canadians.
Relocate to Iraq?...Lot's of cute men in uniform, new schools and an economy on the upswing? ...I'm not much for those pesky beheadings.

So I guess that leaves me wallowing in self pity and taking comfort in the fact that at least when it comes down to sheer entertainment value...Bush is our man. When you think about it objectively, Bush is far more entertaining then his opponent. His ill-fated attempts at the English language leave you scratching your head and waiting for Letterman. Isn't it fun to poke fun at that silly cow poke?

The problem I see with Bush (I'm sticking to entertainment value only) is Laura Bush. Pretty and coiffed, diplomatic and actually rather intelligent, She just isn't that entertaining. Now Teresa Heinz Kerry on the other hand. She has so much potential! It was like that kooky catsup heiress could explode at any given moment. She is fabulous in that kind of an unstable scary aunt sort of way. Don't get me wrong, I love Teresa Heinz Kerry...like that kind of scary unstable aunt.

So here is my solution. We are obviously committed to George W. for the next four years...but does Laura have to be? If George W. took Teresa Heinz Kerry as his first lady....oh the comic possibilities!!! It would almost make the re-election of George Bush worthwhile.

So when you are feelin sad that this silly power hungry elf is our president once again just keep in mind how entertaining he can be. I mean could you imagine John Kerry rattling off a gem like
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

That is prime material!

or

"I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'"

That's our boy America, that's our boy.

- posted by Deonn @ 11/03/2004 08:43:00 PM