Deonn's Happy Fun Palace Shindig Blog.
Saturday, July 10, 2004
 
Skeeter
There is a man at my apartment building named Skeeter...yes Skeeter. I live in Unincorporated Snohomish so it was only a matter of time before I met a man named Skeeter...I think I'll marry a man named Skeeter.
 
An interactive post
So I would like to involve you all in a little game. Here it is. There is a man across the street from my theatre in downtown Bellevue that is opening a business. He doesn't have a sign up yet and it is unclear what is going into the space. Based on the man's appearance and car we were trying to decide what kind of business he would be opening
Clue #1 The man has a sweet silver-ponytail-mullet
Clue #2 The man has a handlebar mustache
Clue #3 This portly man deems a shirt unnecessary
Clue #4 He is wearing shorts that are only slightly more substantial than boxers.
Clue #5 He changes into overalls, no shirt and one strap undone
Clue #6 He drives an old Jeep
Clue #7 This Jeep is painted with cow print
Clue #8 This jeep sports an enormous American Flag
Clue #9 This Jeep Sports an enormous Confederate Flag

And begin. Feel free to e-mail me with your guesses. SO far we have bets on a sportsman's store, An ice Cream parlour, A porn shop, Fishing supply store, Guns. Care to make a guess? feel free to e-mail your guesses, the winner gets 10 point to be redeemed at the ned of the month for...nuthin. deonnritchie@comcast.net. Good Luck

 
The Tortoise and the Hare...And John Curley
I have been doing a very un-Deonn kinda thing. I have been working outdoors. In the midst of starting a business I have to take other jobs to pay the rent and my car payment...and my pimp and my dealer. One of these jobs includes musical theatre in the park with children in South Seattle. Yes one of Dante's rings of hell. "Seward Park Musical Theatre Camp" This particular class was a group of 20 kids between 5 and 8 years old. Did I mention this camp was outside? Did I mention that I am a virtual vampire? For those of you who don't know me I am about one shade darker then Caspar, I am nearly transparent. It was hot out there...very hot. Oh yes and the bathrooms are a good 1/4 mile walk. and by "good" I mean some grammatically fitting expletive. Did I mention that it was outdoors? Did I mention my resemblance to Caspar? Did I mention I had neglected to pack my hip flask? But what does this have to do with a tortoise, a hare and John Curley you ask. WELL HOLD ON YOU IMPATIENT BASTARD! One of the charms of Seward Park (besides toothless Joe and our happy neighborhood crack addicts) there is an abundance of wildlife. This included some bald eagles, Duckish Turkey looking creature, Tons of rabbits that seemed to be multiplying like...well...rabbits and some parrots. Parrots? you say? and I say "PARROTS!" can't you read? parrots. It was kind of fun convincing those five year olds that we were actually pirates and the parrots belonged to us and just flew around while we were teaching. Kids are dumb. But I digress...again. Did I mention I had a couple drinks before I sat down to write? So one day as I was leaving I got behind this Mini Van. It stopped and then started again. Should I go around it? (That's rhetorical as this happened last week, you are only wasting your time by answering now)Should I wait (again, don't feel the need to answer) Every time I made a move the Mini Van would do something strange. I stopped and realized the person in the minivan was my assistant Sophia. A lovely girl that is still learning to drive. She picked up something off of the ground and went to the passenger side to switch seats with her mother. They start to go, I see a rabbit on the side of the road, a get distracted and almost run over John Curley. He may not seem so sprightly on Evening Magazine, but the man darted out from no where! He gave me a quick glare, which was justified as I almost ran over him because I was distracted by a bunny. Sophia and her mom turn around and almost hit John Curley on the other side of the roundabout, I later found out they were distracted because they found a giant turtle on the road and Sophia had it on her lap. That's all. That's the story. Kind of a let down isn't it? I didn't say it was a good story. Perhaps it's one of those you had to be there moments...or maybe I'm drunk. So to recap and summarize John Curley should watch where he's going, because after a long day of teaching 5 year olds out doors, a mile from the bathrooms, I am ready to run over anything in my path...Rabbit...Turtle...or John Curley.
Sunday, July 04, 2004
 
High Five for Jesus
I recently directed a show at Stone Soup Theatre in Seattle. Theatre is a strong word as the space is only slightly larger than my living room...seriously. Every children's show comes with it's share of stage moms, freaky dads and otherwise strange folk. Over the years I have become very good at dealing with parents. I am very calm and professional. "I understand your concerns...blah blah" (then I call my friends and bitch about what freaks they are)You can never tell parents what is really on your mind "Your child didn't get the lead because he is untalented and kinda ugly" I am pretty good at responding to the usual "my kid wanted a bigger part" "my daughter hates her costume" "My son can't come to rehearsal...ever" but I was actually caught off guard by the following scenario.
The show turned out rather well. Parents were happy. For every disgruntled parent, there are a dozen pleased parents. One dad sought me out after the show "You are such a talented writer and director...you have so many wonderful gifts" he then put his hand up and said "High five for Jesus!" Caught off guard and not wanting to leave him hanging I reluctantly "High fived for Jesus" I have friends of various religious beliefs, jewish, catholic, atheist, redneck, Baptist, Pentecostal. I am open to everyones personal beliefs...except maybe the rednecks, (I do live in Unincorporated Snohomish...that's a whole other blog entry)But what the hell? Was he serious? If he was it seems like a freaky thing to say. Was he being sarcastic? I could appreciate a good tongue in cheek "High five for Jesus" but only from somebody I know. It seems an odd thing to say to a stranger. Is this a new catch phrase to the Born-agains? Maybe it's not the big of a deal, maybe it's not that good of a story, but it did give me an idea for a new Musical "HIGH FIVE FOR JESUS!" I picture shiny happy people running around the streets of a major metropolis in colorful t-shirts convincing the homeless to just "High five for Jesus" they meet up with the Sad street mime and convince him to...you guessed it "High five for Jesus" They meet traffic cops and oriental rug salesmen, clinique counter girl and Starbucks Barista.the poignant ballad moment comes when they meet an armless beggar. Because she has no arms she can't "High Five for Jesus" you can come up with your own ending. Do they embrace her and teach her to high five with her feet or do they pass her by because she can't High five for Jesus.


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