Another Vodka Gimlet Please
Men. I seem doomed in the area of love. My track record with the male of the species is sad. I bring this up after another misguided date. I don't want to alienate the poor guy by naming names so for our purposes we will call him "Not Steve." I was introduced to "Not Steve" by a mutual friend. This mutual friend however was unaware of "Not Steve's" new found zest for Jesus. Hey I'm open minded. I was exposed to many religions as a child. I think everyone should be free to believe in what ever religion, entity, higher power they want...It's not that I have anything against Mr. Christ. I was just surprised that a jewish man who had spent much time on a kibbutz in Israel had such a change in faith. The following is an abridged transcript of my Saturday evening date.


Not Steve: Have you accepted Jesus as your personal saviour?

Deonn: I don't know I'm still shopping around.

Not Steve: (Uncomfortable Silence)

Deonn (takes another drink)
(Crickets...Crickets)

Not Steve: My life completely changed when I found the Lord.

Deonn: (To waiter) I'll have another drink.

Not Steve: Have you heard of Jews for Jesus?

Deonn: Is that like Flowers for Algernon? (Inner monologue) What's that old piece of advise don't talk about religion or politics.

Not Steve: I feel I am a Christian trapped by the teachings of Judaism.

Deonn: (Subjects running through my head as he explained his affinity for the Four-square teachings.) So How about that New Hampshire Primary. Do you like Gladiator Movies? Do you find Johnny Depp hot? If I pretend to choke, will you stop talking?

Not Steve: (Phone rings) Hello?....No...Lime...Great...Anacortes...Every Tuesday?...Orthodontist...Probobly Spring Rolls.

Deonn.......(I decide not to ask but secretly wonder what could be happening in anacortes on Tuesdays for an orthodontist with Spring Rolls and Lime, Luckily I am distracted by the arrival of my third Vodka Gimlet)

Not Steve...I am sensing that my talking about religion makes you uneasy.

Deonn...Carry on. I'll just keep drinking.

Not Steve: Do you find it odd that I bring up my religious faith on a date?

Deonn...Well I don't know that odd is the word.

Extremely uncomfortable maybe. It wasn't the religion thing as much as the visual image I get when I hear "Jews for Jesus" I picture a bunch of jewish men in clown-make-up riding around in a rainbow colored Volkswagen Bus. singing "Up with People" type songs. I have no basis for this visualization but it helped me get through the evening.

The conversation never really picked up. We went our seperate ways. I called mutual friend. She apologized profusely and asked "Is that a better or worse conversation starter than the guy who told you he had been institutionalized twice for a mental problem?"
Hmmm.
Ahh the joys of the single life!
- posted by Deonn @ 2/02/2004 08:31:00 PM