Deonn's Happy Fun Palace Shindig Blog.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
New Blog

Thursday, December 30, 2004
Deonn Ritchie's Impractical Guide to Moving
Countdown-30 days until the move.

Today I decided I would spend the evening packing up books. I would go to Staples and by some boxes. I would keep the books that were really special to me and donate the ones that I have been hauling around for years.

Drank half a bottle of merlot at the Sand Point Grill. Staples is closed now.

Friday, December 24, 2004
"Jesus Rocks!"
My downstairs neighbor has a huge poster on his wall that says "Jesus Rocks!"
Does Jesus have to rock? Can't he or not be? Whatever your beliefs may be. I mean it's a lot of pressure just being lord and savior to billions of people does he really need the added pressure of needing to be hip? I'm sure all he wants is just to have a low-key birthday, hanging out with his peeps, maybe a little karoake...but none of this "Jesus Rocks" crap. Happy Birthday Jesus. Don't let your friends trick you into singing anything by Flock of Seagulls.

Thursday, December 09, 2004
Merry MeX-mas
I have recently purchased tickets to see El Vez. Armed with a burning curiosity and a willing accomplice I will be seeing the Mexican Elvis next Thursday night! I didn't know much about him so I decided to do my research. He will be performing at the Showbox as part of his Merry MeX-mas tour. Songs from his album "Sno-Way Jose" include, Mamacita Donde Esta Santa Claus?, Poncho Claus, and Brown Christmas. Check out his groovy website.

Here are some other Elvises...Elvi that I have come across since beginning my research.

Melvis-The Jewish Elvis Impersonator-His repertoire includes "Blue Suede Jews" and "Don't be Cruel...To a small white jew"

Jelvis the Kosher King-A picture is worth 1000 words.

Elvis Herselvis-The Lesbian Elvis Impersonator

Evangelistic Elvis- He's all about the Jesusness.

Texas Elvis Explosion-?

Hunka Burnin Elvi- (Elvi is the accepted plural form)

Elvis Chan-Chinese Elvis

Elvis Gauthier-The French Language Elvis

Extreme Elvis-JR saw Extreme Elvis in person. I was unfortunate enough to see the video. Extreme Elvis is as his name implies, I personally am not a fan of Giant naked men singing elvis tunes while sticking things in various orifices. But who am I to judge. He also has an extremely small penis. I'm not talking small, I'm talking "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" could be adapted to "Elvis and the really Pissed of .5 centimeter"

Deaf Elvis-Spanish Deaf impersonator Tom Gaetano, all songs are performed in ASL

Deaf Elvis 2- Not to be one-upped, Art Kistler is deaf and blind, "top that Deaf Elvis #1!"

Tone Deaf Elvis-That's not his actual name. Only an angry nickname given in a letter of complaint to a local casino.

Elvis Phung-Actually Vietnamese, he performs his own versions of Elvis songs at a Chinese Restaurant in London. His Hits include "Are you Dim Sum Tonight" and "Jailhouse Wok"

Perhaps I'm in the wrong business. Maybe I should give up the glitz and glamour of children's theatre and try my hand at Elvis. I'll have to come up with a catchy name. Any suggestions? (Elvis Phung is already taken)

Monday, December 06, 2004
Sweet Cuppincakes!
I have a new favorite place! Think of the dumbest idea for a restaurant (besides Taco del Mar) and you have my new favorite place. No not Butch's Bar-B-Que and Mattresses, or Typhoid Mary's Tea Room. How about a place that sells pretty much just cupcakes?

Ballard has it's share of offbeat businesses. I have mostly frequented Archie McPhee's, The Nordic Heritage Museum and that funky Flag Shop. I scoffed when I first saw Cupcakes Royale, it is also the home of Verite Coffee. I assumed the Seattle clientele was too sophisticated for a cupcake shop. I assumed the goatee-ed, bespectacled, heavily pierced post grungers were there with their laptops sipping Black coffee here because they did not want to support the mega monsters of the neighboring Tully's and Starbucks. I couldn't imagine the dred locked patchouli spiced hippy dude, slidin up to the counter for a Vanilla Butter cake deluxe with Purple buttercream frosting. I left Ballard without trying out Cupcakes Royale, laughing it off as a ridiculous idea. I mean, I like a good cupcake as much as the next gal, but come on an entire place dedicated to cupcakes!?

Last Friday night around 10:00pm, We were looking for something to do. We were in Ballard. We had already had dinner, Weren't in the mood for bar hopping...yet. Kurt and Marie had free babysitting, Dennis suggested Cupcakes Royale. I laughed when he told me that he had been there before. He told me that people weren't there for the coffee, they were there in fact for the cupcake. Everyone who went there had a cupcake. Partly because I didn't believe him, Partly because the novelty of it and Partly because...well I do love a good cupcake, we decided to give it a try. After all Ballard is the World Headquarters. It said so in the window.
Okay Dennis was right. Everyone had a cupcake! It's hard to describe the scene. Baby Boomers mixed with teenagers, retirees and twentysomethings, bikers, a green haired guy and intellectuals with their laptops. They all had a cupcake!

There was nothing left to do but have one myself. They all had fun, extremely girly names, we read them in "the Official Guide to Cupcaking!" names like Barbie, Bunny, Ballerina and Lemon Drop. My personal favorite was the Dance party with Holly Hobby. I guess Sugar High Sky Blue, Pastel Purgatory and Diabetic Coma didn't make the cut. Kurt and I both had the pink coconut "Bunny" I believe Dennis had the Purple Ballerina and Marie determined to just share Kurt's, broke down and bought "The Classic" My cupcake was pretty much fabulous. "What a great idea for a business I thought", briefly remembering dragging Gina by it only weeks earlier saying "What a stupid idea for a business." How naive I once naive. I know better now.
...and...there's a great bar just down the street.

Check out

Demon Rickshaw
If I took the spell check's suggestion for my name it would be Demon.
Demon Rickshaw.
Spell check has many suggestions for my middle name, Tarese.
I think my favorite is Trashy.
Perhaps I should adopt a new stage name.
Demon Trashy Rickshaw.
It has a nice ring to it.
I'd better go change my business cards.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Canada or Bust!
The votes are in and much to my amazement America has re-elected George W. Bush. He has won the election, though I hesitate to call him "a winner". In the words of George W. Bush "You have misunderestimated me" Indeed.
The day after elections I contemplate my options.
Slit my wrists? I'm not much for blood.
Move to Canada? I'm not much for the Canadians.
Relocate to Iraq?...Lot's of cute men in uniform, new schools and an economy on the upswing? ...I'm not much for those pesky beheadings.

So I guess that leaves me wallowing in self pity and taking comfort in the fact that at least when it comes down to sheer entertainment value...Bush is our man. When you think about it objectively, Bush is far more entertaining then his opponent. His ill-fated attempts at the English language leave you scratching your head and waiting for Letterman. Isn't it fun to poke fun at that silly cow poke?

The problem I see with Bush (I'm sticking to entertainment value only) is Laura Bush. Pretty and coiffed, diplomatic and actually rather intelligent, She just isn't that entertaining. Now Teresa Heinz Kerry on the other hand. She has so much potential! It was like that kooky catsup heiress could explode at any given moment. She is fabulous in that kind of an unstable scary aunt sort of way. Don't get me wrong, I love Teresa Heinz that kind of scary unstable aunt.

So here is my solution. We are obviously committed to George W. for the next four years...but does Laura have to be? If George W. took Teresa Heinz Kerry as his first lady....oh the comic possibilities!!! It would almost make the re-election of George Bush worthwhile.

So when you are feelin sad that this silly power hungry elf is our president once again just keep in mind how entertaining he can be. I mean could you imagine John Kerry rattling off a gem like
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

That is prime material!


"I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'"

That's our boy America, that's our boy.

Saturday, October 30, 2004
Anyone Know A Good Therapist?
My mother and her life partner are going as Ballerinas for Halloween.
Complete with Tutus and Tiaras.

If only I could blindfold my imagination.
(oops, sorry Mom. I think I just outed you)

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